Welcome to Over the Brim: a life filled up and overflowing. I'm Shanda, a mama creatively living and loving in Nashville, TN, sharing bits and pieces along the way.  I love Jesus, truth and beauty, books, coffee, and being intentional with my family. I value vulnerability and togetherness and so, I write here and invite you in. 

"God Alone Is Enough"

"God Alone Is Enough"

Sometimes, I think I'm doing pretty good in the vulnerability department. I know that the life I want to live, and am called out to live, requires vulnerability. Even this online space will only work if I am vulnerable with my readers; but guys, sometimes, knowing and wanting and doing and being are not the same. Or is that just for me? 

My sweet son is turning 2 years old today. I have been a mother for 2 years, plus those 40 weeks and 4 days before I met him. My experience of mothering thus far has been truly glorious, so very hard, and deeply rich. I have learned more of what it means to become less and I have grown in ways I hadn't imagined a tiny person could cause. 

I've always had some aversions to writing about motherhood on the internet. "I don't want to be a mom-blogger," I told my husband over and over during my pregnancy and the first year of mom-life. I don't have anything against "mom-blogs." I have read and been thankful for many of them. I think I was afraid of losing myself and I wanted to write about other things.

I had no idea how consumed I would be by motherhood. It's not an obsession. It's not a loss of self. It's just that motherhood has changed me thoroughly. It's that I LOVE my son from and in every compartment of my soul and spirit. I realized, if I am going to share my life and learning on the internet, I am going to share my motherhood. They cannot be separated. 

I now feel compelled to share pieces of story here, but nothing in the world has ever made me feel so vulnerable and, if I'm honest, afraid. I wonder what you will think and how you may judge me. 

I am here today to declare...

I am letting go. I am showing up. I am pursuing presence, living in the now and being sensitive to the Lord in me each moment. I am pursuing presence by trusting the Lord with whatever happens next. I am acknowledging that control is not for me to have or hold. I am choosing authenticity and letting go of what people may or may not think. (Thanks Brene Brown!) 

You will probably be kind. I will probably discover unexpected places of love and support. You might tell me I'm wrong. I might be wrong. That's okay. I cling to Jesus. Sometimes, I cling to my own image or my rightness or what you think of me, but those are not my lot and I don't want to hold them anymore. They only bring death. I want Life. I want to eat, drink, breath, and share Life. I cling to Jesus. 

I read a prayer recently that really struck a chord. I wrote it on a paper and taped it to my mirror because I need it in my face and heart. 

Let nothing disturb you
Let nothing frighten you.
Those who cling to God will lack nothing
Let nothing disturb you
Let nothing frighten you
God alone is enough.
— Prayer by Saint Teresa, Published in Henri Nouwen's "Discernment"

It's too easy to be disturbed or frightened these days. I don't want to be anymore. I don't need to be anymore. I cling to Jesus and will lack nothing. God alone is enough. 

He is enough to be my Source in parenting and writing and all of life. He is enough when I face rejection or correction. He is enough if no one ever cares what I share. He is enough if the whole world decides I am crazy and stupid. He is enough if I, in fact, AM crazy and stupid. 

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.  

I guess I just wanted to share this today because I don't think I am the only one who feels this way. Your thing might not be motherhood or your writing, but I bet you have a thing -- an area that you are resisting some vulnerability. Showing up and being vulnerable where we feel led won't solve all the world's problems, but it might change something for someone, and I know that it will change me. It always does. So let's do this. Will you join me in truly believing that God IS, in fact, ENOUGH?!

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