Motherhood // emptying, filling, and treasure hunting
I used to be really worried about LOSING MYSELF to this thing called MOTHERHOOD. I felt like I needed to hold tight to all the parts of me that had nothing to do with kids.
Almost 4 years in to having babies in my arms and at my feet, I now know there is NO part of me that has nothing to do with my kids. I'm theirs. They are mine. And that is so beautiful. Really, truly. It doesn't mean I've lost myself. It means I've given myself. And isn't giving ourselves the whole point of this life?
I say all the time that my children are my greatest teachers. I've found parts of myself and passions within me that would never have existed without them. It's taken some letting go and giving up and, my goodness, it has been so worth it. My kids and my motherhood are not my identity or my all - I find those in Jesus. And I am certainly more than a mother, but...
Motherhood empties me, all the time. It drives me to Jesus, to listening and receiving and searching and finding treasures of truth and beauty I'd never have looked for otherwise. After the emptying comes the filling. I find myself so full, so overwhelmed by Love -- not just my love for my kids, but Love - who is a person.
I spend a lot of my time and energy on this emptying and filling and treasure hunting in the space of motherhood and I'm drawn now to start letting more of what I find flow out in this space. At the start, motherhood was the last thing I wanted to write about. I find it's become the first thing. There is so much to process and share in the emptying, filling and treasure hunting. I hope that what I share will find its way to others (mother or not) who are being emptied and filled through the ups and downs and challenges and adventures of life, because doing it together is the best part.
I hope you'll stick around and share the journey of this treasure hunt. There is so much to explore.